I sent Mom’s Birthday
letter off in mail...it's 6 pages long!
I got your Dear Elder yesterday and it's the first "letter"
I've really gotten in two weeks. I know
that It will be like that in the mission, but I felt the withdraw. I know everyone is busy and stuff but it’s the
thing I look forward to everyday. We sit
in a classroom all day every day for I don't know how many hours. I don't know, could you like get into Liam and
Emma's heads that they have 3-ish weeks for me to be able to communicate with
them before communication is super limited and short? I miss them terribly. I miss Liam's goofy dances and Emma's sarcasm,
even if she was making fun of me. No one
emails me and no letters and I also feel like I'm playing "mom" over
here and everything sometimes piles up on to one plate. (Okay I didn't mean to
start this email off with complaining).
Dad I use to have a really hard time in high school, mind wise and I don't
think I ever told you and Mom because, like in my talk (and that event where I
prayed to HF was more for that), I didn't want y’alls help or God's help, I was
prideful and I thought I could do it on my own. When I went to BYU Hawaii I felt the spirit so
strongly there that my 'life' in high school was not the one I wanted any more. So I strived for change, real change and that
was the hardest thing up until that point for me. When you or Mom would ask about my mission
before, part of why I didn't want to answer was because 1) I wanted to find out
for myself (the pride kicking in) and 2) I didn't feel worthy to serve. When I made the change and I turned to my
Heavenly Father and used Christ's Atonement, I could feel literal weights lift
off of my shoulders. I felt like at that
point I could do anything.
SO after like a few weeks of contemplating, over
winter break you told me your amazing testimony about missionary work in the Chick-fil-a
drive thru, I knew I had to go. So I got back to Hawaii and I called you and
told y’all. Well HERE I AM! I’m actually serving the God who saved me, the
God I owe everything to. This is the reason why I went because of your
testimony of missionary work and because Christ saved me! Now these thoughts are not gone, they didn't
just up and leave but because I put my faith in Christ and leaned all the way
on Him he has strengthened me and helped me though. So back to where I was going with this,
sometimes I feel overwhelmed with everything and the addition of unpleasant
thoughts. I never want to not lean on Christ. It is just it better that way.
I had the impression to ask for a blessing. I asked my
district leader and a few of the other Elders to participate of giving me a
blessing of comfort. The Lord, through this 18 year old Elder, told me all the
things that I needed to hear. Every
doubt that I had in my mind was settled at that moment and I could feel His
love for me! He told me that I was His
daughter, that I could overcome, that I would be strengthened and that was one
of the most power blessings I have ever received because it was simple and it
was from My God. Through the priesthood I
was able to feel peace, and through my faith He could give me the blessing I
needed. The love the Elders had for me could be felt and I never felt more proud
to say THAT I AM A PART OF THIS, THIS MISSION! (I love these Elders! and
Sisters)!
Pop, I miss you terribly. I miss your hugs and us just talking...I'm
trying not to cry while I send this ;) but YOU ARE MY HERO! You are my example! You hold the priesthood
and that is amazing. Don't worry too
much about Liam, because the way he acts and thinks, is believe it or not, the
way I acted and thought in high school. I
needed to be humbled and it wasn't going to happen unless you had spent time
with me one on one. It wasn't going to
come unless I felt so much hurt that I needed so desperately my Savior. Liam
will get there. I want to be an example
to him. I plan on sending him a
"package" that hopefully will help him. I want people to know what I know. I love you, Pop. Tuck and Roll!
Love,
Sister Oswald
